Proactive Parenting October 13, 2008

We can’t be absentee parents. We need to get off the snide and strive to know who our kids are. We need to communicate with them. Keep a finger on the pulse of what they’re up to in life. Anticipate what they’re doing and what they might be getting themselves into. We need to know what our children are thinking. And the best way to do this is to ask them: What are you thinking?

Find out what our kids’ likes and dislikes are. Set them up to succeed. Our kids want to do what’s right. They just have a tough time figuring out what that is sometimes. That’s why it’s up to us to teach them right from wrong, and to be patient with our lessons. They will continue to dictate our joys and frustrations. And if our kids are living happy, healthy lives, we can rest assured that we will too. That’s why we’ve got to take the time to deal with them. Play into their likes in a positive and constructive way. Work with them in planning their daily schedules.

One great way to do this is to get a week at a glance planner and help them set up what they’re going to do. Kids love this. It gives them a chance to participate in setting up their schedules, and it teaches them how to manage their time in a positive and constructive manner. Everyone likes to be able to plan his or her life, and it helps to avoid unpleasant surprises. It also gives both parent and child a point of reference to communicate from.

Sit down and go over their week’s schedule with them on Sunday nights. And then each night thereafter make sure both parent and child knows what’s in store for the next day. This allows both parties to prepare for and to put positive energies into accomplishing important goals for each day of their lives. When the child is old enough, and he’s proven himself responsible and worthy, allow him to have a bigger role in creating his schedule. But the bottom line is we’re the bosses, because we know what’s right. And we have to make sure they understand this in a loving and constructive way.