Proactive Parenting October 13, 2008

We can’t be absentee parents. We need to get off the snide and strive to know who our kids are. We need to communicate with them. Keep a finger on the pulse of what they’re up to in life. Anticipate what they’re doing and what they might be getting themselves into. We need to know what our children are thinking. And the best way to do this is to ask them: What are you thinking?

Find out what our kids’ likes and dislikes are. Set them up to succeed. Our kids want to do what’s right. They just have a tough time figuring out what that is sometimes. That’s why it’s up to us to teach them right from wrong, and to be patient with our lessons. They will continue to dictate our joys and frustrations. And if our kids are living happy, healthy lives, we can rest assured that we will too. That’s why we’ve got to take the time to deal with them. Play into their likes in a positive and constructive way. Work with them in planning their daily schedules.

One great way to do this is to get a week at a glance planner and help them set up what they’re going to do. Kids love this. It gives them a chance to participate in setting up their schedules, and it teaches them how to manage their time in a positive and constructive manner. Everyone likes to be able to plan his or her life, and it helps to avoid unpleasant surprises. It also gives both parent and child a point of reference to communicate from.

Sit down and go over their week’s schedule with them on Sunday nights. And then each night thereafter make sure both parent and child knows what’s in store for the next day. This allows both parties to prepare for and to put positive energies into accomplishing important goals for each day of their lives. When the child is old enough, and he’s proven himself responsible and worthy, allow him to have a bigger role in creating his schedule. But the bottom line is we’re the bosses, because we know what’s right. And we have to make sure they understand this in a loving and constructive way.

 

What Kind Of Parent Are You? October 9, 2008

There are four major types of parenting, i.e. (i) uninvolved, (ii) indulgent, (iii) authoritarian and (iv) authoritative. Though some of these parenting methods can be learnt and absorbed, it usually happens naturally – depending upon the innate nature with which the parent is born. What are they and how do parents evolve from these type of parenting?

 

Uninvolved Parent

This parenting method is usually reflected when the parent(s) do not really bother about what is going on in the life of the child. They provide the minimum necessities and do not bother about the psychological needs of the child. This type of parent has neither any demands nor response. The child is an incidental thing in the house.

Indulgent Parent

These types of parents are always there ready to do anything the child wants even before they ask for something. They take joy from being there all the time and have very few demands if any on the child. Here you will find two divisions – there are parents who like to consider their children as their friends and allow them liberties as they grow, and the other type, which allows the child to do as he/she pleases in the belief, that at the right time they will grow out of it and become responsible adults.

Authoritarian Parent

This type of parent is dictatorial. The child has no rights, no capacity to think what is right or wrong for him and hence, all the decisions need to be taken by the parent. Further, the child should unflinchingly obey all the rules that they impose. In this type too, there are two divisions, i.e. parents that recognize and accept certain boundaries that the child erects with age; and the other is who is overly intrusive and demanding.

Authoritative Parent

This is the most accepted parenting method. It involves being both demanding and responsive at the same time, which in turn keeps the parent in constant touch with the feelings, ambitions, fears and hopes of the child. This type of parent is like a rock in the child’s life and at the same time is capable of instilling in him the core values of life.