Proactive Parenting October 13, 2008

We can’t be absentee parents. We need to get off the snide and strive to know who our kids are. We need to communicate with them. Keep a finger on the pulse of what they’re up to in life. Anticipate what they’re doing and what they might be getting themselves into. We need to know what our children are thinking. And the best way to do this is to ask them: What are you thinking?

Find out what our kids’ likes and dislikes are. Set them up to succeed. Our kids want to do what’s right. They just have a tough time figuring out what that is sometimes. That’s why it’s up to us to teach them right from wrong, and to be patient with our lessons. They will continue to dictate our joys and frustrations. And if our kids are living happy, healthy lives, we can rest assured that we will too. That’s why we’ve got to take the time to deal with them. Play into their likes in a positive and constructive way. Work with them in planning their daily schedules.

One great way to do this is to get a week at a glance planner and help them set up what they’re going to do. Kids love this. It gives them a chance to participate in setting up their schedules, and it teaches them how to manage their time in a positive and constructive manner. Everyone likes to be able to plan his or her life, and it helps to avoid unpleasant surprises. It also gives both parent and child a point of reference to communicate from.

Sit down and go over their week’s schedule with them on Sunday nights. And then each night thereafter make sure both parent and child knows what’s in store for the next day. This allows both parties to prepare for and to put positive energies into accomplishing important goals for each day of their lives. When the child is old enough, and he’s proven himself responsible and worthy, allow him to have a bigger role in creating his schedule. But the bottom line is we’re the bosses, because we know what’s right. And we have to make sure they understand this in a loving and constructive way.

 

The Potty Party July 22, 2008

So, it’s time to enter the world of potty training. As a parent, you are likely looking forward to non-diaper days with great anticipation. Your little guy or girl may not feel the same way. Potty training can be easy for some kids, but for most of them, it is a difficult concept to understand. Until this point, they have been allowed to take care of that need whenever they must without a special trip to the bathroom. Potty training requires patience and sometimes a little education. Here are five tips you can use to teach your toddler how to use the potty.

First, make the potty training experience fun. Children do not respond well to pressure when it comes to toilet training. If you are constantly hounding them about going to the bathroom and punishing them when they make a mistake, they are going to struggle and feel anxious about the process.

One great way to make toilet training fun is to start the process with a new book or video. While you might feel silly reading a book about a child using the potty, it is a great way to show your child that other kids do the same thing and that it is what “big boys” and “big girls” do. This takes some of the anxiety away.

Another way to develop good toilet habits is to model the behavior yourself. Yes, it is sometimes uncomfortable to have a little audience when you are doing your duty, but if your children can see that you go potty in the bathroom, they will learn what they are supposed to do. Modeling is one of the best ways to teach a young child a new behavior.

When your child does use the potty correctly, immediately provide a reward, even if the action was involuntary. For example, if you are doing your routine of sitting your little guy on the potty when you think it is approaching the time for him to go and he does happen to go, provide a reward. This could be a small treat, like a chocolate chip, or it could be a special book or a special form of praise. This reinforces that going potty is a positive event.

If you begin the potty training process and find that it is not going well, take a break. There is no rule as to when your child has to be use the potty. Even if you think that she is too old for diapers, a short break is not going to hurt anything. Sometimes approaching the topic a few days later makes all of the difference in the world.

So, it’s time to enter the world of potty training. As a parent, you are likely looking forward to non-diaper days with great anticipation. Your little guy or girl may not feel the same way. Potty training can be easy for some kids, but for most of them, it is a difficult concept to understand. Until this point, they have been allowed to take care of that need whenever they must without a special trip to the bathroom. Potty training requires patience and sometimes a little education. Here are five tips you can use to teach your toddler how to use the potty.

First, make the potty training experience fun. Children do not respond well to pressure when it comes to toilet training. If you are constantly hounding them about going to the bathroom and punishing them when they make a mistake, they are going to struggle and feel anxious about the process.

One great way to make toilet training fun is to start the process with a new book or video. While you might feel silly reading a book about a child using the potty, it is a great way to show your child that other kids do the same thing and that it is what “big boys” and “big girls” do. This takes some of the anxiety away.

Another way to develop good toilet habits is to model the behavior yourself. Yes, it is sometimes uncomfortable to have a little audience when you are doing your duty, but if your children can see that you go potty in the bathroom, they will learn what they are supposed to do. Modeling is one of the best ways to teach a young child a new behavior.

When your child does use the potty correctly, immediately provide a reward, even if the action was involuntary. For example, if you are doing your routine of sitting your little guy on the potty when you think it is approaching the time for him to go and he does happen to go, provide a reward. This could be a small treat, like a chocolate chip, or it could be a special book or a special form of praise. This reinforces that going potty is a positive event.

If you begin the potty training process and find that it is not going well, take a break. There is no rule as to when your child has to be use the potty. Even if you think that she is too old for diapers, a short break is not going to hurt anything. Sometimes approaching the topic a few days later makes all of the difference in the world.

Finally, the best thing you can do to help your child learn how to use the potty is to establish a routine. Find the times that work best for you and your child, and take your child potty at those times every day whether or not she says she has to go. This will reinforce what you want her to do. When you feel that she has the hang of it, you can start waiting for her to tell you she needs to go. Remember, children need some time to learn about the potty, to get over their fears, and to respond to their bodies’ signals. Have patience and a good sense of humor, and the potty training will eventually work!