Jake’s Fate July 30, 2008

SUICIDE.

 

The word gives me the chills and this is one topic I don’t like to talk about it.  We’ve all been there, in the dark hours, such chastity and manipulation in life and it’s overwhelming.  Some see “shrinks”; others develop alcoholism, insomnia, depression, and very bad habits to “escape”.    I’ve been there, at the point it became so unbearable the unconscious mind wanted out, no matter what.  I was in high school at the time.

 

My best friend of many years, “Jake” was one person I really loved as teenager.   For purpose of anonymity, Jake isn’t his real name.      The relationship wasn’t romantic love or teenage love.    It was the love between siblings, and he was the older brother I almost had.  We did everything together, shared dreams, laughter and everything else in between.  He was one year old than me, and he graduated first.   Every day in the summer and in the fall, he wrote me letters while attending Boston College.   

 

Then the Spring came, Jake wrote to me less and less.  And it became apparent that he was too busy with college to write or call.     It made me really sad, and I felt a sense of loss.   I also felt so angry that I could not connect with my best friend more.  I’d even started filling applications to attend Boston College though I knew I would probably not be able to get in.  You can’t blame me for trying.   I loved Jake very much as he was a part of my soul. 

 

One day in the spring, I called his parents who where good friends with mine, and they lived up the block.  It was then that Jake’s mom informed me that he had committed suicide over the Christmas holiday.  Suddenly my heart stopped, and I thanked her for the bad news.  I gave my condolence and hung up the phone.  I was stunned and very sad at the same time.   It was later that I found out he had been depressed for the many years I had known him, with the pressures of school, careers, relationships, and everything else. 

 

After months and years of research why Jake committed suicide, I came to the conclusion that his unconscious mind became addicted to depression.  Being self-destructive (drugs, alcohol, promiscuous sex, etc.) was a way to escape the daily grind.

 

The unconscious mind becomes addicted to the process of depression and suicidal thoughts to such an extent that it ‘thinks’ that our depression is an intrinsic part of our hope for survival and it ‘perceives’ that suicide is a possible solution.

 

It is not unlike an addiction to drugs or alcohol where the substance becomes germane to the unconscious and it is ‘perceived’ that our survival depends on the continued consumption of this highly addictive substance.   That is why, even when he got rid of the physical addiction of drugs or alcohol, the psychological addiction of depression remained.  It was his destiny to commit suicide to escape the depression buried in the unconscious mind.

 

That is still a very disturbing memory.  

 

  

 

Personality Styles of Children According to Brian Klemmer? July 27, 2008

I am not endorsing Brian Klemmer nor his teachings, but what I did find that was universal was the personality traits in people, including children.    Guessing what kind personality your child has  is understanding how to deal with your child’s actions?   I am not sure, but here are the traits.    There may or may not be truth in this, but let’s view and decide.

A “Controller” personality likes control. They like to be organized, achieve results, go for the bottom line and usually think in terms of effectiveness. They are motivated by results and challenge and only want to know “what” needs to be done. Never tell them how to do something. They know how; their way.

 

An “Analytic” is a very even keel, reasonable and logical person. They tend to be neat, meticulous, very precise, love structure and want to know how to do something so they can do it “right”. They are slow to make a decision and are motivated by logical decisions.

 

A “Supporter” is a very relationship oriented person. Being in connection with you is their highest priority. They want everyone to get along and be one happy unit. What motivates them is caring and friendship.

A “Promoter” is a high energy creative, spontaneous person who loves to be different and hates structure. They are motivated by an activity being “fun” and a challenge.

 

So how do you recognize what personality type your child is?  Brian Klemmer’s book advises parents to look at their child’s behavior for clues.  Are they dominant or easy going? For example; if your child interrupts you during a conversation they are either a controller taking control or a promoter simply excited about something. An analytic wouldn’t do that because it violates structure and a supporter wouldn’t do it because it would risk the relationship or hurt your feelings.

What is your personality style?  Tell us by leaving  a comment.